Trust

After years of repeated of misery, hurt, tears, and pain how does a woman love again? How do I know when its okay to let my heart go? How do I know if I'm ready to take that risk. A man I love now has never given me a reason to question him, only the ones who came before him. He say, "baby I'm a little busy, I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you so I'm calling you now and I will call you later on tonight". I couldn't even smile. I had to push myself to say okay when I really wanted to say whatever. I'm so use to hearing "I'm in class" or " I'm taking care of some business right now I'll call you later". And everything would always end up in disaster...I don't want to penalize him anymore...He doesn't deserve the bad attitudes, casual snaps...I'm fighting myself to stop penalizing him but I feel like I'm trying to break down a steel wall. Why?